I've been counting and what makes it a lot harder is the agony of waiting for the moment that will never come. A moment that I've been dreaming but disappointment sets in everytime I wake up realizing that i've been setting my eyes on him but he never looked in my direction. There were times that i thought he's dreamy stare is meant for me but then in the end i've realized that he was looking thru me as if i'm just a transparent wall between me and her.
For almost three years now, I'm still his shadow. Following him even in the darkest of the night where my existence remains unnoticed. I've been watching his every move, waiting for his mr. bean smile and enduring the pain everytime i hear him mention her name. How many times have i been convincing myself to forget him...trying to suppress the voice inside this dumb heart of mine...making my pentium one brain win over my heart... but in the end i failed...I thought i've forgotten his musculine smell but I was wrong for even when my eyes are closed, I'll still be able to recognize his scent...I tried to stop listening to the voices around me but in the middle of the creepy silence, i can still hear his voice...I blindfolded my eyes but in just a few seconds, images of him started playing...i gambled and tried starting again with someone else but till now he is still the owner of my heart and my present 'husband' will remain a mere boarder...


I love him...But HE LoVes HER....and I can't do anything about it...

if cupid was santa claus

if cupid was santa i would:

place the person i love most on top of my wishlist


ask him to bring that person in front of me at this instant

beg him to give me enough courage so that i can tell that person that i really care for him


request him to hypnotize 'him' and tell 'him' to go on a date with me today


lastly...i would ask him to make that 'person' love me even just for a day...


but cupid can never be santa...and all my love wishes won't come true...in love the heart really decides and wishes would never be granted..In love you have to smell the foul aromatic scent, taste the sweet-bitter taste and experience the best painful experience...In love you have to laugh your heart out loud even if your heart are is torn into pieces...