I've been counting and what makes it a lot harder is the agony of waiting for the moment that will never come. A moment that I've been dreaming but disappointment sets in everytime I wake up realizing that i've been setting my eyes on him but he never looked in my direction. There were times that i thought he's dreamy stare is meant for me but then in the end i've realized that he was looking thru me as if i'm just a transparent wall between me and her.
For almost three years now, I'm still his shadow. Following him even in the darkest of the night where my existence remains unnoticed. I've been watching his every move, waiting for his mr. bean smile and enduring the pain everytime i hear him mention her name. How many times have i been convincing myself to forget him...trying to suppress the voice inside this dumb heart of mine...making my pentium one brain win over my heart... but in the end i failed...I thought i've forgotten his musculine smell but I was wrong for even when my eyes are closed, I'll still be able to recognize his scent...I tried to stop listening to the voices around me but in the middle of the creepy silence, i can still hear his voice...I blindfolded my eyes but in just a few seconds, images of him started playing...i gambled and tried starting again with someone else but till now he is still the owner of my heart and my present 'husband' will remain a mere boarder...


I love him...But HE LoVes HER....and I can't do anything about it...